A Gambling Joke

A guy worked all his life in Pittsburgh. One day he wakes up and hears a voice in his head: "Quit your job, sell your car, sell your house, go to Vegas."

The guy figures he's been working too hard, so he ignores it and goes to his job. Every day, he hears the voice, louder and more often:

"Quit your job, sell your car, sell your house, go to Vegas!"

This guy's been in the same job for twenty years, and he doesn't want to throw that all away. But every day, the voice comes back. He tries to ignore the voice, he goes to therapy, he gets on Prozac, but week after week, month after month, the voice just gets louder:

"QUIT YOUR JOB, SELL YOUR CAR, SELL YOUR HOUSE, GO TO VEGAS!"

Finally, the poor guy can't take it anymore, so he quits his job. He puts his house up on the market and takes the first offer that will give him cash. He sells his car, and he cashes in his retirement options. He takes all the cash and buys a ticket to Vegas.

When he steps off the plane, the voice says, "GO TO CAESAR'S PALACE." He hops in a cab and goes up the Strip. When he enters the front doors, the voice says "GO TO THE ROULETTE TABLE." The guy doesn't even check in. He makes his way past the slots, past the blackjack tables, and pushes his way to the first roulette wheel he sees.

"PUT IT ALL ON 13-RED."

The guy takes his whole roll of cash, slaps it down on 13-red, and the dealer spins the wheel. The ball goes round and round, eventually slowing...it bounces around different numbers until it finally lands on 26-black.

The voice says, "FUCK!"

-Dickie Richard